Over the years, I’ve come to realize that the difference between someone who thrives and someone who merely exists in their work isn’t just about their talent or intelligence – it’s how they show up for others. The people we remember, the ones we want to work with again and again, aren’t just the smartest in the room.
They’re the ones who make the room feel better.
I think about this a lot when I meet people, especially in professional spaces. We tend to fixate on credentials, experience, and expertise, but rarely do we ask the more fundamental question: Do I enjoy working with this person? It’s not about likability in the shallow sense. It’s about trust. Generosity. A feeling that this is someone who will make things easier, not harder. Someone who brings clarity, not confusion. Someone who, at the very least, doesn’t drain the energy out of a room.
For me, it starts with deciding what kind of person I want to be. Am I generous or self-serving? Pleasant or difficult? Curious or indifferent? These aren’t trivial questions. They define not just how people experience me but also the kind of work I get to do. Because the truth is, no one builds anything meaningful alone. Whether it’s a business, a movement, or a simple idea, everything is built on relationships. And relationships are built on the smallest of interactions – the way we listen, the way we respond, the way we leave a conversation.
I try to make it a habit to never walk away from a conversation without offering help. It doesn’t have to be anything big. Sometimes it’s a small introduction, a resource, or even just an acknowledgment of what someone is going through. But I’ve learned that these small gestures accumulate. They build trust. And trust is the most valuable thing you can carry into any room.
That doesn’t mean it’s always easy. I’ve had moments, especially early in my career, where I was so focused on proving myself that I wasn’t really paying attention to others. I was working hard, but I wasn’t necessarily working well with others. It took time to recognize that competence alone isn’t enough. People don’t just want someone who can get the job done. They want someone they can rely on, someone who listens, someone who doesn’t make everything about themselves.
This mindset has shaped how I approach leadership, strategy, and even everyday interactions. It aligns with my belief that the best way to get engagement, whether from a team, a client, or a community, is not to assume you already have it. Engagement is earned. It’s a reflection of how well people feel seen, understood, and supported. And it doesn’t come from just being great at what you do. It comes from being great to work with.
I’ve worked with a lot of different people – founders, executives, young professionals just starting out. The ones who stand out, the ones people gravitate toward, have nothing in common in terms of industry or background. But they do share something else: they make things easier. They bring a sense of calm and clarity. They don’t leave people second-guessing themselves. And most importantly, they make you feel like working with them was the right decision.
That’s what I strive for. Not perfection, not being the smartest in the room – just being the person people want in the room.
Because in the end, that’s what matters. Not just for your career, but for the kind of life you build and the people you build it with.