Written By: Someone Who Gets That Life Can Be Annoying, but Let’s Try to Keep It Together Anyway

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Buzz Killington /bʌz-kɪl-ɪŋ-tən/
noun 1. A person who, either intentionally or unintentionally, drains the energy or enthusiasm from any given moment, conversation, or experience by offering unnecessary criticism, pessimism, or “realism” at inappropriate times. 2. A human wet blanket. See also: Joy sponge, vibe assassin, party pooper.

Example:
You’re at a dinner party, and the host proudly shares their plan to open a small bakery specializing in gluten-free cupcakes. Just as everyone is celebrating this bold venture, Buzz Killington interjects: “You know, 90% of small businesses fail in their first year. Are you sure this is a good idea?” Cue collective sigh.

Here’s a fact you probably already know but might be too polite to say: Buzz Killingtons are everywhere. You know, that person at every dinner table, on every Zoom call, and in every group chat who manages to suck the joy out of a room faster than you can say “weekend plans.” They’re the ones who insist on telling you why your brilliant idea won’t work – or worse – why your moment of joy is somehow a threat to world peace.

But here’s the deal. We’ve all been there. Even the most life-affirming, joy-sprinkling human has moments of being a Buzz Killington. Heck, I’ll admit it – I’ve stepped right into the role, especially on days when the weight of inflation, career pressures, and post-pandemic life looms large. But life is too short (and frankly, too complicated) to stay stuck in that rut.

So let’s flip the script. Here’s how to ensure that you, my friend, can stay far away from Buzz Killington territory and embrace a life full of positivity, empathy, and yes, a little well-timed sarcasm that elevates the moment instead of killing it.

1. Diagnose Your Buzz Killington Tendencies – Like, Right Now

You can’t fix what you won’t acknowledge, and the first step in avoiding this dreaded fate is admitting that, yeah, sometimes you are that person. It might not be obvious. Maybe you think you’re being “realistic,” providing “necessary” input. But let’s get one thing straight: realists rarely add joy to the room. Rarely.

When someone tells you they’ve decided to train for a marathon (and let’s be honest, they haven’t run since high school gym class), your instinct may be to remind them of the high dropout rates, how bad running is for the knees, or how they’ll probably need new shoes that cost more than their monthly rent. Stop. Just stop.

Instead, let them have their moment. In fact, hype them up. Because who are you to say they can’t do it? Maybe they will surprise themselves – and you. And if they don’t, well, you didn’t need to be the one to tell them so.

2. Let Optimism Guide You – Even When It Feels Annoying

Ah, optimism. Often mistaken for naivety or wishful thinking, but really, it’s the lifeblood of making it through life without turning into a human Eeyore. I know, the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and as someone who has lived between vastly different worlds – India, North America, academic life, and professional grind – you know better than anyone that life can be a mixed bag.

But here’s the thing: people need hope. They need light at the end of the tunnel. And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is leave your cynicism at the door and just cheer for someone’s ridiculous idea, bold dream, or unexpected joy. Who cares if they’ve decided to quit their job to start a llama-walking business? You can point out the financial pitfalls later. For now, let them dream. Heck, throw in some llama puns to sweeten the mood.

3. When in Doubt, Offer Solutions – Not More Problems

Buzz Killingtons love to point out problems. It’s like their superpower – if you could call it that. But if you really want to rise above and be a beacon of positivity in your circles, don’t just poke holes in other people’s plans. Instead, try this revolutionary approach: bring solutions.

Imagine you’re in a brainstorming session about, oh, say, how to manage rising housing costs in Canada. Everyone’s tossing out ideas, some better than others, and then Buzz Killington pipes up with, “Well, none of that’s going to work because [insert tired excuse here].” And then silence. The mood’s gone. But if they had followed up with, “Okay, that’s a challenge – what if we tried it this way?” – the vibe would still be alive, kicking, and hopeful.

Here’s the secret: If you can’t find a solution, just ask a better question. Sometimes the only thing people need is a spark to keep going, not another fire to put out.

4. Find Humor Without Being Mean – It’s Possible, I Swear

Here’s a hard truth: sarcasm isn’t always the universal language you think it is. Especially when it comes at someone else’s expense. Sure, a little self-deprecation here and there? Gold. But there’s a big difference between light-hearted fun and veiled jabs that dampen the mood.

Next time you’re tempted to launch into one of those biting one-liners (you know, the ones you think make you sound witty but really just deflate the room), stop and think. Could your humor actually make the moment lighter, not heavier? If someone’s showing off their slightly wonky PowerPoint design, don’t drop the “Oh, that’s, uh, bold” comment. Instead, find a way to uplift them, maybe even relate to their effort with a joke about your own creative struggles.

Pro Tip: Uplifting humor sticks. Mocking humor fades – and leaves a bad aftertaste.

5. Be Intentional – Not Everyone Wants Your Two Cents

Here’s where most Buzz Killingtons go wrong – they think every conversation is an invitation for their unfiltered opinion. Spoiler alert: it’s not. Sometimes, people just want to share their wins, no matter how small, and they don’t need you to weigh in with a reality check.

If your friend excitedly tells you they’ve learned to make a latte, it’s not your cue to tell them about how caffeine addiction is on the rise or how you prefer a cold brew. Let them have their moment. Be intentional about what you say – and when you say nothing at all. The world has enough noise. You don’t need to add to it just because you think you have something clever to contribute.

6. Uplift, Don’t Overshadow – Be the Person Who Leaves the Room Brighter

At the end of the day, not being a Buzz Killington is about this: leaving people feeling better than when you found them. It’s simple. Whether in your family, your friend circles, or your professional life, you have the power to be a person of impact. And trust me, being a source of positivity is way more memorable than being the one who’s always ready to shut it down with a heavy dose of “reality.”

The Bottom Line: The world is hard enough. Don’t be the person who makes it harder. Lift others up, laugh at your own missteps, and when in doubt, say something nice – or say nothing at all.

See? That’s how you avoid being a Buzz Killington. Now go forth, spread joy, be intentional, and when you see someone running headlong into a half-baked plan, maybe just smile, cheer them on, and wait for the beautiful mess that follows.