“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we will ever do.”
– Brené Brown
This powerful quote by Brené Brown speaks to an unspoken truth that we often forget in our pursuit of success, perfection, and even leadership: the most courageous thing we can do is own our narrative. To live authentically, to take the messy, imperfect pieces of our past and embrace them as part of our identity, is not only liberating but transformative. It’s an act of radical self-acceptance that often goes unnoticed in the noise of external expectations.
Yet, how often do we allow ourselves to be shaped by the stories others tell about us? Whether it’s a boss’s opinion, societal norms, or the pressure of fitting into a mold, many of us spend years shaping our identities based on external forces rather than taking the reins and truly owning our own. It’s easy to get caught up in the illusion of who we think we should be, rather than stepping into the vulnerability of who we actually are.
This isn’t just a personal revelation; it’s an idea that has the power to shift entire communities, industries, teams, and cultures. In leadership, for example, owning one’s story is more than a practice of self-reflection, it’s a way of creating trust, fostering connection, and driving change. Leaders who embrace vulnerability by acknowledging their own struggles and journeys not only create space for others to do the same, but they also embody a deeper, more impactful form of leadership.
Authenticity becomes their superpower.
The strength in embracing our narrative comes from the humility of realizing that we don’t have to be perfect to lead or to succeed. Often, we mistakenly believe that to be worthy of respect or success, we must fit a particular mold or meet specific criteria. However, the best leaders and the most successful individuals I’ve encountered are those who understand their own stories – their triumphs, failures, doubts, and everything in between – and embrace them without discomfort. They recognize that their experiences, both good and bad, have shaped their capacity for empathy, understanding, and decision-making.
As someone who teaches and mentors students, particularly international students pursuing their post-secondary education in Canada, I often encourage them to grasp the weight of their journey. The decision to leave one’s home country to pursue education in a foreign land isn’t just about academic growth, it’s a profound shift that involves navigating different cultures, confronting insecurities, and reshaping one’s sense of belonging. But what makes these students resilient isn’t the fact that they’ve chosen the “right” path; it’s that they are engaging with their own story and actively shaping it. They might not be the same as they were when they arrived, but they are learning to love the person they are becoming through that process.
Similarly, in the workplace, how we view our personal and professional stories can deeply influence how we engage with others. It’s easy to become defined by what we do, the title we hold, or the accolades we’ve accumulated. But these external markers rarely tell the full story. The richness of who we are comes from understanding the complexities of our personal experiences – as I said before, both the highs and lows – and how those experiences fuel our passions, drive, and decision-making. When we own those aspects of ourselves, we create space for others to do the same.
At the heart of this ownership is “humility” – a trait I often refer to in my writings. Humility in this context doesn’t mean downplaying your achievements or belittling your journey; it means being honest and open about the realities of your path. It’s about creating the right expectations and understanding that growth doesn’t come from waiting for the perfect moment, but from engaging with what’s in front of us – embracing it with both hands, flaws and all.
This is where the concept of “intentionality” also comes into play, as it directly ties into how we choose to tell our story. Being intentional is about making conscious choices, understanding the “why” behind our actions, and shaping our lives in a way that reflects our deepest values and truths. When we approach life with intention, we stop letting circumstances dictate who we are. Instead, we actively decide how we show up in the world, how we lead, and how we navigate our relationships.
For leaders, owning your story requires being willing to lead with both strength and vulnerability. It’s about setting an example by being authentic, transparent, and open to learning. In doing so, you create a culture of trust where others feel safe to share their own stories, stories that might be filled with setbacks, failures, or doubts. But it’s within these stories that true strength resides. There is no growth without discomfort, and by embracing the full spectrum of our experiences, we set the stage for profound transformation.
We are all products of our stories, but those stories are not fixed – they are fluid, dynamic, and constantly evolving. When we actively engage with our narrative, we take ownership of its direction. We recognize that even the most challenging chapters can be catalysts for growth, and that every experience holds the potential to teach us something valuable. Loving ourselves through this process isn’t about being blind to our flaws or failures; it’s about accepting them as part of what makes us whole.
At its core, owning our story is a form of freedom. It frees us from the pressure of being someone we’re not, and it empowers us to step into the fullness of who we are. The more we accept ourselves as we are, the more we can grow into who we’re meant to be. This journey isn’t easy, and it doesn’t come with a neatly tied-up conclusion. But it is, without question, one of the bravest things we can ever do.
As Brené Brown so powerfully reminds us, owning our story is the bravest act of love we can offer ourselves – because in embracing our imperfect humanity, we unlock the boundless strength and connection that make us truly whole.