The belief that friendships last forever is a comforting one, especially in our youth. It gives us a sense of security and connection, something we naturally carry as we grow. When you left your childhood friends behind in India, those bonds felt unbreakable. But what you carried with you was not just a reflection of reality – it was an idealized, almost cinematic version of your past. It’s as though that part of your life froze in time, preserved with a sense of certainty and loyalty.

As life pulls us in different directions – whether geographically, mentally, or emotionally – it’s tempting to believe those relationships will stay on the same path, following a familiar curve. Yet, life changes people in ways we can’t always foresee. Variables like age, experience, and perspective shift in ways we don’t expect. But instead of confronting that reality, we normalize it. We explain away the small signs that suggest the connection is fading.

To admit that these bonds have frayed is to confront the painful gap between the reality in front of us and the ideal we’ve held onto. And that gap hurts. It challenges our sense of loyalty – the very traits we’ve built our identity around. What do you do when the foundation of your being – the loyalty and certainty in these relationships – starts to crumble? Answering that question often leads to a personal crisis, one that forces us to reevaluate what once felt so solid and unshakable.

This is why we hold onto toxic relationships, or connections that no longer serve us. Familiarity, even when harmful, feels safer than the unknown. We return to people whose values or behaviors are completely at odds with our own because clinging to the known is easier than facing the uncertainty of letting go. It’s not just difficult – it’s terrifying. Letting go means accepting that the past no longer aligns with the present, and that we ourselves have changed in ways we never expected.

But when the bond finally snaps – whether through conflict, time, or a slow drift – there’s often a profound sense of relief. The weight of expectation lifts, and we feel a freedom we didn’t even know we were yearning for. In that space, we find clarity, allowing us to reflect on why it took so long, why we resisted, and why the obvious only reveals itself after the fact.

Looking back, it’s clear how much time, energy, and emotional investment we poured into preserving what was, driven by the need to hold onto an illusion. Eventually, the pain of clinging gives way to the peace of letting go, making room for new connections, new growth, and a deeper understanding of who we are.